Scamming the Cats

Here's an interesting paradox: Today I am uncomfortable because I am very comfortable. Yes, today is Friday, customarily "jeans day" at the office. No, not "casual day" as some places call it. Since I have dance class right after work, I thought I'd try dressing in my dance gear (t-shirt, adidas track pants), to save a couple of minutes. Ahhh, I feel sleek and sporty. Comfortable. But when I arrived at work, I had the sudden self-conscious feeling that I was underdressed. By a mile. Now I feel uncomfortable walking among the undead here, in their jeans and tucked-in polo shirts... Oh well, it's Friday.

Michael Moore's Stupid White Men, describes "Mad Cow" disease as the biggest threat to the human race -- bigger than AIDS. Like little zombies, the mad cow pathogens "cannot be killed, because they're already dead." So how can science cure Mad Cow?

Moore's passage itself did not shake me to the bone. But the dramatic reading of it by the narrator of an audiobook, a.k.a. book-on-tape, did. You see, while I was at work listening to my cow-orkers shared iTunes music selections, I stumbled upon this recording, and, in effect, "read" over half the book. Hey, I thought, what a great way to get some reading done. So last night, off I went to the local library to find some books on CD. Yes, I assumed there are books on CD. "Books on Tape" is just a term handed down from the days when cassettes roamed the Earth like Ptyranydons... so I thought.

My assumption explains why the librarian seemed baffled by my request. Why would anyone under forty still have a cassette player? This is the conversation that transpired:

Me: Hi, where are you audiobooks?

Librarian: They're right over there... you mean books on tape?

Me: Yup.

Librarian: Books on tape?

Me: Yup.

Librarian: I'll show you... [leads me to section clearly marked "Audiobooks"] You mean these?

Me: Yup.

Librarian: Books on tape?

Me: Yes, thanks.

Librarian: Okay...

Of course, I don't have a tape deck. Not one currently connected to my stereo, anyway. So, I borrowed some books that are actually compatible with my bio-technology: paper books that I can read with my eyeballs. Hooray for libraries!

My English prof would say that ascribing to a dog vocabulary is a form of anthropomorphism.

This just in! The word 'Anthropomorphism' was invented by people who just wanted to demonstrate their understanding of the word 'anthropomorphism'.

Smiling at people is quite fun. Since I've gotten my braces off, the urge to smile at strangers is irresistable. They always reciprocate! This is great =) Everyone feels better too.

*smile!* =D

This may be the most eventful year of my life. Climactic, at least. Two big milestones: this summer I finished college, and just yesterday my braces came off. I recorded another demo CD earlier this year, started a new career (including enrolment at a technical school), entered my first slam (spoken word competition), began making short films, started breakdancing lessons, met many new people, and so on. So what is left to do? It seems that most of my long-term goals have finally come to an end.

Perhaps it is time to set new goals... and continue to improve on the things I seem to do sporadically, such as painting. Two things I'd like to add to my repertoire: stand-up comedy, and improv comedy. Okay, actually I've already done a lot of improv, but I've been out of the spotlight for too long -- not that I want any prestige or attention, but the pressure can be exhilerating. Perhaps I should take a workshop through Vancouver TheatreSports League. What else can I do? How about finishing a proper CD, with professionally packaging? What's stopping me?

Perhaps I dilute my talents every time I add a new one. Without focus, each skill loses sharpness. "Jack of all trades, master of none." Most people forget about that last clause.